Sunday, July 15, 2012
I take my job as a father very seriously. I am responsible for teaching my sons. One important skill I am currently teaching him is to "piss like a man". Ie: stand up and pee. Right now, it's about 75-25.. The majority of the time he pees in the potty, he does so sitting down. There are many reasons for this; sometime's he isnt tall enough for his unit to reach the urinal. He also hasn't quite mastered the stance; he thrusts his belly outward, so as to create space below his hose, so he doesn't wet his legs. This isn't the most comfortable position, it actually looks rather taxing on the quads. Tonight, he opted to 'piss like a man'. He climbed up on his step stool, assumed his half-squat position.. and proceeded to pee backwards, between his legs, (picture a center in football hiking the ball back to the quarterback. That's the trajectory I'm talking about). He pretty much hit every target in the bathroom, except the inside of the toilet. Then he says, "Uh oh, I just pissed everywhere!"
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Last Thursday Casey and Sydney had a fun play date in the pool with their friends Allison, Sammy and their mommy's. We had a great time swimming, playing, snacking, and more swimming. After about 2.5 hours it was time to go home for naps. As I was getting Sydney cleaned up and dry I looked back at Casey in the pool to tell him he was next and to come out. When I looked I saw "chunks" floating around him. I panicked and told him to get out of the pool. He didn't budge and just had a funny look on his face. I walked up to him as his hand was up at his mouth and he had a strange look on his face. I said "Oh baby, did you spit up?" and I cleaned his nose and mouth. He then said "Now clean my poop!" :-(
Monday, July 2, 2012
Daddy Mommy imparted some useful knowledge to Casey. We were on a long walk and suddenly Casey said he needed to go potty. The only problem is that there was no restroom nearby. Have no fear, Daddy Mommy had the solution. She I said, "Daddy will show you how to pee on a bush." Daddy said, "Come on Casey, lets go pee on a bush". Alas, we couldn't find a bush, but managed to find the next best thing... a tree! He was pretty successful; only a few details I still need to work with him on. Such as, you want to aim such that the runoff doesn't flow to your shoes. But other than that, his first attempt at this important life skill was a success... Until....
About 30 minutes later, still on the same walk, he said he needed to go potty again. This time, we were near some stores, and I offered to take him to a potty. He said, "No potty, I want to pee on a bush". So we found another tree. He asked Daddy to go first. So, I demonstrated. When it was his turn, he pulled down his pants and started to go. Everything was going smoothly until he saw a 'roly poly'. Mid flow, all his attention got diverted off the task at hand, and focused on the roly poly. Now, his hose sprayed everywhere; straight down into his underwear and pants, streaming down his leg, soaking up his socks and shoes. With everything wet, we finished and continued the walk home. As he waddled uncomfortably in his wet everything, he says, 'Daddy, carry me'.. And I thought, "Oh he!! no kid, you're all wet. That's nasty."