Sunday, July 15, 2012

P!ss like a man

I take my job as a father very seriously. I am responsible for teaching my sons. One important skill I am currently teaching him is to "piss like a man". Ie: stand up and pee. Right now, it's about 75-25.. The majority of the time he pees in the potty, he does so sitting down. There are many reasons for this; sometime's he isnt tall enough for his unit to reach the urinal. He also hasn't quite mastered the stance; he thrusts his belly outward, so as to create space below his hose, so he doesn't wet his legs. This isn't the most comfortable position, it actually looks rather taxing on the quads. Tonight, he opted to 'piss like a man'. He climbed up on his step stool, assumed his half-squat position.. and proceeded to pee backwards, between his legs, (picture a center in football hiking the ball back to the quarterback. That's the trajectory I'm talking about). He pretty much hit every target in the bathroom, except the inside of the toilet. Then he says, "Uh oh, I just pissed everywhere!"

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