Pitching Change

I come home the other night, and walk into my bedroom. All I hear is, "I'm done, you take him". Umm, thats not good. I guess little Casey had a rough evening, fussing and crying. And Mom needed relief. So, you know in baseball when your closer is on the mound, most of the time, the game is good hands. He's usually a shut-down, goto guy, probably with a 100 MPH fastball or some close-the-deal pitch. Think Trevor's change-up, or Mariano's split-finger. In any case the closer is the guy, and you win or lose with him. Well, as a fan, think about how you feel when the closer gets pulled for say, a middle reliever... Picture a dude with a number in the 60's or 70's, that you have never heard of, straight up from AAA. Confidence inspiring huh? This is exactly what is going through my head when V tells me to relieve her. Great, if the closer just got shelled, imagine what is going to happen to me, the rookie with no experience. But, being the last guy on the bench, I'm eager to contribute, so I take the assignment.
I take Casey in the other room, and rock him. 3 minutes later, he's quiet. Damn, I'm good, there's nothing to this... So I sit down in the recliner, get some pillows and blankets, start to get comfortable... WAAAHHHH, WAAAHHH! Casey starts wailing. Uh, not good. I try the shussing, the swaddling, the sideways hold... every pitch in my repitoire. WAAAAHHH, WAAAHHH! Nothing helped. Reluctantly, I get up and start pacing the room. Bam, quiet. Now its pushing midnight, so I try to sit and get the pillows and blankets; yup, you guessed it... WAAAHHH, WAAAHHH! Get up, sit down, get up, sit down. I gotta wonder if Casey's thinking, "Dude, I rule this place.. watch this, I control daddy like a puppet."
I finally think I diagnose the problem.. He's got gas. What can I do about that? It's not like I can pull his finger... All I'm thinking is, "I got one play left"... Skin on skin... But that aint wise, considering whats happening. I'm holding him, in a diaper, in pajamas, in a swaddled blanket, and I still cringe everytime he lets one loose. Each time, I instinctively, I check my hand and fingers to see if they are wet... I should be putting on the HAS-MAT suit, but instead I strip him down to his diaper, and take my shirt off. GENTLY place him ( oh, please diaper, dont leak and seep) on my chest... and voila, he falls asleep.
All in all, a pretty good outing. Definitely a little shaky, sort of like lots of walks, some LONG flyball outs, and leaving the bases loaded, but I got out of the inning!